Things no one warned me about regarding Motherhood...

1. That I would ever ever get excited and happy over someone else's BM.
Kat was so constipated when she was really little that she would just arch her back and cry... so whenever Tim and I would switch shifts and Kat had pooped, we'd get all excited and high five each other... This is what my world has come to :)

2. That my daughter would feel the world needed desperately to see my breasts.
I am not able to nurse in public or anywhere near other people as the minute I use any kind of cover to conceal the boobie- Kat rips it off and then gives me a big grin. She usually throws the blanket for good measure too. She also pulled my top down in Target the other day, luckily she was in the Moby wrap so I was covered... but still!

3. That my capacity for embarassment and proper social behavior would go right out the window.
So there we are, in line at Target... and I hear Kat give a little grunt, rip a huge fart, and do her business. And when I say loud, I mean people two lanes over looked over to see what on earth that was. She farts like a grown man. So instead of looking around like everyone else (acting innocent) I start laughing so hard I almost pee my pants, and tell Kat she's awesome. I now am entertained by farts... oh yeah, and she burps louder than Tim, so loud she startles herself sometimes!

4. That I would have painful minivan envy...
When you're in a parking lot in below 0 wind chills trying to manueuver a huge baby seat into the base of the backseat of your little Camry, then attempting to wrestle the stroller into the itty bitty trunk... and you look over and see the woman parked next to you push a button and her minivan doors open, she just reaches in and snaps her baby into place quickly, and just slides her stroller into the back... all the while you have snow dripping down your collar, a pulled shoulder muscle, and a baby screaming at all the jostling and cold just watching that lucky woman drive away in her shiny warm minivan... you have minivan envy....

5. That you don't need much to take care of the baby, but the extras sure make your life easier.
There isn't much you NEED to raise a baby- food which you provide, love ditto, a roof over your head.... but all the extra stuff makes Mommy's life easier, not the baby's. But really, when you're the primary food source for a screaming chubby little tyrant- anything that makes your life easier is worth it. One simply needs to press that point when appealing to cheap husbands. :) Don't know what I'd do without my co-sleeper, my boppy pillow, the good breast pump, and her activity center!!