I realized that being a Mommy has changed me in more ways than one... I've developed amazing superpowers!
~I can now take a complete shower in under 3 minutes in and out! I can do this while simultaneously listening for the angry cry from the nursery next door that my time is up!
~I can actually get dressed in simple clothing, still wet, while holding the baby the entire time (though I prefer not to! LOL)
~Mommy spit is an amazing multi use tool- it has the same cleaning power as Formula 409 and has the same hair holding power as Brill Creme!
~I make milk- nuff said!
~I can now effectively and neatly change a diaper on a target moving at upwards of 35 Mph!
~My one handed typing speed is now 40wpm
~I'm able to clean the entire downstairs one handed, holding a baby, while singing Farmer in the Dell.
~I am now immune to the nastiness of the grossest of substances, and barely think twice when I get one on me in the process of fulfilling my motherhood duty.
~I can spot creepy people who want to touch my baby up to 50 feet away and escape effectively.
~ I can detect shoddy parenting skills at up to 100 feet away, add an extra 50 feet to that range if it's my child in question... and can correct the problem with merely a look...
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1 comment:
Just wait until she starts walking and realizes she can reach anything or climb to get it...there is an entirely nother set of powers!
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